Storyteller's Universe // Violent Visions
Hostile Environment
Content warning — Abusive household, homophobia, transphobia, panic attack
The door to my room slams open, I jolt awake. My father walks in holding up a clear plastic bag with a blister pack in it; half emptied out.
“What the fuck are these?”
I throw off my covers and get up from bed, I try to stand brave in front of him but I can’t even look him in the eyes.
“I…”
“What the FUCK are these pills?!”
I try to say anything, the truth, the lie, an attempt to dismiss, defuse, nothing comes out of my throat however. I feel my cheeks get hot and my eyes well up with tears.
“You’re going to tear our family apart, you ungrateful shit! It’s bad enough that you’re a faggot, why are you doing this to us?!”
He starts to unbuckle his belt, in fear I take a step backwards and press my back against the wall, tears are streaking down my face.
“Now you’re turning yourself into a whore too?”
“Dad, please, no, I—”
He swings the belt at my face, belt buckle-first
I jolt awake.
It was a vision, I’m in danger.
I jump out of bed and rush for the bathroom where I left my hormone pills. I knew they would find them if I hid them in my room during a routine rummage, but I didn’t think they’d find them hidden under the bathroom sink.
The light inside is on and I hear my father in there already. It’s too late, I can’t fix this. I’m in danger, I must run.
I climb back upstairs and scan my room for anything that I need. I have maybe a minute or two before he gets up here.
I need pockets, so I quickly put on the clothes I prepared for tomorrow. I grab my phone, my wallet, where are the keys— Oh no, I can already hear him going up the stairs, it’s definitely him, I can tell by the sound of the footsteps. He’s coming in here to hurt me.
My heart thumps in my chest and I’m feeling numb. I climb outside the window and jump down, badly twisting my ankle.
I’m looking down through the window. That was an another vision; I move my foot just to be sure - yes, it didn’t happen. I have to be more careful.
I grab onto the windowsill and lower myself down as I hear the door to my room slam open.
“What the fuck are— WHERE ARE YOU GOING YOU LITTLE SHIT.”
I drop down to the back garden, and run into the night. I hear my father shout slurs after me, no doubt he will pursue me.
Through tears and blinded by the bright screen, I’m trying to call Carla. My chest burns and feels tight, I can't catch a proper breath; I have to hyperventilate.
I don’t see anything in the darkness around me. While I was running I ducked into some alleyway and found myself in some tenement courtyard. I crumpled down in a corner and as adrenaline wore off I fell into a panic attack.
“Shae?”
I press the phone against my cheek, it sticks to my wet face. I try to say what happened but I find myself only letting out whimpers and cries.
“Hey hey hey Shae? Calm down, please, meerkat, deep breath, okay? Inhale, come on.”
They seem panicked alongside me, I am calling them at 2am after all. I try to follow but when I draw air into my lungs, my breath audibly turns into a shaky sob.
“I will stay in the call with you, okay? Focus on your breathing, take your time to calm down. We will talk once you can talk, but for now I just want you to listen to me.”
Carla spends the next 15 or so minutes telling me about the first time they met Kingsley in a video game lobby. Throughout the story they’re throwing in jokes constantly until one gets me to laugh. That somehow resets my breathing and eventually I can calm down. My chest hurts but at least my heart no longer thumps louder than I can think.
“You alright girl?”
“No… P-please pick me up. I’m scared.”